I am an atheist!
March 11th, 2008
by Jaime Sabel
Not too long ago, I participated in a cultural competency training. Wait, don’t roll your eyes, this one was actually good! It wasn’t about pointing out that racism (and sexism, etc.) exists and that we are all bad people because of it. Instead, the philosophy was that we are all on a path toward cultural competency and that some may have made it a little further along the journey, but we all always have more to learn. The activities really did get me thinking about how we perceive those around us and, one in particular, inspired this post.
All participants, about 25 in total, lined up on one side of the room. The leader read a characteristic or a short identifying statement that might define some of the participants. Those who identified with the statement were to walk a short distance across the room and face those who did not identify with the statement. No one could talk during the exercise, the two groups were to maintain eye contact, and the idea was to think about how we felt about standing in either opposing group.
As soon as I heard the rules, I was immediately and uncharacteristically anxious about having to walk across the room and tell a room full of strangers that I am an atheist. As I had no way of knowing whether or not that would actually be named identifier, I had to question myself on such a bizarre reaction. I consider myself to be a fairly outspoken atheist and certainly not afraid to talk about the things that I believe, or don’t believe in this case. In fact, earlier that same night I had had a conversation with another participant where I had volunteered that I am an atheist. And yet, I found myself shivering (to be fair, the room was cold) at the prospect of outing myself to this group. When the statement finally came, it was not exactly as I had anticipated: “Cross the room if you identify with a religion other than Christianity.” I don’t identify with a religion other than Christianity, but I also don’t identify with Christianity. So, largely because I had made such a big deal about it in my own head, I crossed the room. I found out later that at least one person chose not to cross the room because of the fact that he or she didn’t identify with any religion and so didn’t feel justified as I did. I don’t know how many others may have felt the same way. I do know that, in a group of about 25, two of us crossed the room.
Once I was there, it didn’t feel weird at all. I am an atheist and I am not ashamed to say so. Why had I been so worried and then had no problem crossing the room when the call came? I thought about this for a long time and finally decided that it is because I was worrying about identifying myself as part of a group that is typically distrusted and even despised to a group of mostly strangers. When I am able to talk to another individual or a small group, the typical case for me when speaking about my beliefs, I usually feel that I can also convince those people that I am a good person and hopefully make them reconsider their ideas that all atheists are nasty and just out to destroy religion. But, when I have to identify myself without being able to make a case for myself, I have no control whatsoever of what those people staring back at me might be thinking about me. And yet, when the group leader named the thing that I had feared, I certainly didn’t consider it an option to stand still.
I wonder how many times similar things happen to us in situations that are not as obvious as this one. How often do others simply assume we are Christians because we are nice people and do the right thing? I have certainly been in situations where someone has alluded to our “shared” Christianity and yet I have not been willing to derail the conversation in order to set them straight. If, on the other hand, someone would have asked me if I was a Christian, rather than assuming so, I would absolutely tell them I am not. Perhaps in order to make atheists look like the normal, good people that most of us are, we need to start being more outspoken about where we stand. Perhaps we need to cross the room and stare down the other side a little more often and not worry about whether or not they know us well enough to not judge us. The more people we talk to about our ethical, non-religious lives, the more people will realize that we don’t need a god to live a good life.
March 11th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
I agree that it does take some bravery for us to be public about our lack of religious beliefs. I also think that we are held to a different standard. When an atheist does something immoral, theists are quick to blame it on her atheism, when a religious person does it (like Ted Haggard) they say, that he “fell” or “backslid” and they make excuses that we are all sinners, etc.
March 12th, 2008 at 1:06 am
It feels great and empowering to be an “out” atheist, especially in a matter-of-course, no-big-deal kind of way. It’s important that we all “come out of the closet” and taste not only the freedom of atheism, but the freedom to “just” be ourselves.
March 12th, 2008 at 2:23 am
Well played, FreeThoughtGuy!
March 12th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
I think that there is also some stigma attached to the word atheist. My own personal experience with this was with my father, who himself is an agnostic. When I told him that there was the possibility that I would be identified as an atheist in a newspaper article, he became very angry and informed me that I was NOT an atheist. I explained that I indeed was one, and he again told me I wasn’t, even though he fully recognized the fact that I do not believe there is a god. I think he just did not want his daughter to label herself as that awful immoral kind of person with which the public associates the word “atheist.” Agnostic is fine, nonbeliever–great, but atheist–no. Why is that?
March 12th, 2008 at 7:09 pm
The word atheist has a long history of being used pejoratively. Teddy Roosevelt once referred to Thomas Paine as “a filthy little atheist.” Lincoln and Jefferson were also at various times called an “atheist” with obvious negative connotations.
The Soviets were also castigated as “Godless communists” and “atheists.”
March 12th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
I know someone who is gay and atheist. He once told me that he receives more negativity from the fact that he is an atheist than that he is gay. He finds it much easier to be openly gay than openly atheist. I think that’s really interesting.
July 8th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
“How often do others simply assume we are Christians because we are nice people and do the right thing? … Perhaps … we need to start being more outspoken about where we stand.”
I agree. I’m all for letting your view be known, especially in a group which is comfortable sharing their beliefs (through symbolic jewelry, desk accoutrements, or religious idioms). Being open about your take on religion is different than prying into others’.
For instance, I liked Matt Dilahunty’s diplomatic response to someone saying, “Thank God It’s Friday” to him. He said something like, “Well I’m an atheist, but I’ll say ‘Amen’ to that!”